My Love
by AnotherGirlWithAStory
Summary: Hermione turned around and looked at him. She didn't know if it was the glimmer in his eyes or the genuine smile on his face but for some reason she decided not to ask anything about it even if her curiosity wanted answers. She was sure that she would get her answers eventually.


**Title** : My Love

 **Characters** : James Potter, Sirius Black, Hermione Granger, mention of Lily Evans and Severus Snape.

 **Pairing** : James x Hermione and mention of Lily x Snape.

 **Word Count** : 2, 349

 **Prompts** : [Dialogue] – "I find that answer vague and unconvincing." [Dialogue] "Tell me something good." [Dialogue] "You only get one life. It's actually your duty to live it as fully as possible.". Write about eavesdropping. [Pairing] James x Hermione.

 **Warning** : AU! This takes place in 1978 at some point in august and Hermione is the same age as Sirius is.

 **AN** : Written for The Insane House Challenge, the 365 Prompts Challenge and February Event – Library Lovers at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Challenges and Assignments).

* * *

James Potter could be described as a very determined person, among other things, and everyone who knew him had tales which adequately described this particular trait. His parents, when they were alive, could for example tell the tale of the first time that he saw a particular house in Godric's Hollow and he proclaimed loudly that he was going to guy that house one day. Many, if not all, purebloods had several homes so his parents weren't surprised by the fact that their son didn't think twice about buying another house even if he would inherit the Potter mansion which was located only a few kilometres outside of Godric's Hollow. James had, at the time, been ten years old and his hazel eyes had shone with determination. That story could also describe how James approached life in general, or if nothing else certain aspects of it. Whenever he could affect or control something, he did. It made sense to his friends that he bought that house. Even if it sounded weird to say out loud, the house reminded them of James. With one exception.

In spite of popular belief, James was not a fan of eavesdropping on people. It really was a shame because his house in Godric's Hollow was perfect for snooping on unexpected people. But that was completely wasted on the raven haired nineteen-year-old. He believed in this little thing called privacy and would never let his curiosity steer him towards that type of behaviour. If someone wanted him to know something then they would tell him eventually and it would only be a matter of time. Hermione Granger wasn't a fan of eavesdropping either but unlike James she was more controlled by her curiosity. That's why the twenty-year-old women stood outside James' bedroom, hidden in a corner which completely hid anything inside of it when the door to his bedroom was open, and listened to a highly private conversation. From the perspective of an outsider, it probably looked as if she had planned on snooping for a very long time. But that was not the case. That particular corner also happened to be the best place to read and that's what she had been doing when James opened the door, efficiently hiding Hermione, and called for Sirius to get his butt in there. It was, in other words, an accident. Surely, James and Sirius would see that too? She took a deep breath and leaned back against the wall furthest away from the door. Her brown, curly hair was pushed back into a lose ponytail to keep it away from her eyes and her brown eyes were firmly directed at the floor. Ever since they quit Hogwarts, things had been happening every single day until that very day when nothing happened. So, Hermione was dressed for the occasion with loosely fitting black yoga pants and a big grey hoodie. A part of her knew that she wasn't supposed to eavesdrop. She wasn't supposed to listen to what they were saying and she wasn't supposed to be looking at them through the crack between the door and the wall. Yet she did.

Inside the room, James laid on his bed and looked up at the roof. He too looked like he had been prepared for a calm day in and wore grey sweatpants and a loosely fitted black t-shirt which probably didn't belong to him. Sirius was lying in a similar position next to him. He was wearing a pair of light blue jeans and an oversized white t-shirt; his leather jacket was thrown over a chair next to the bed just within his reach. The two men had been friends for so long that they were no longer bothered by long silences. They didn't need to talk. But this time they weren't quiet because they thought that it was comfortable or because they needed to be. This time, both James and Sirius were gobsmacked by the information and the revelation which it had led to. Neither of which they had been spoken out loud.

Sirius sighed and lifted his head so that he could lay down on the palm of his hand. His dark brown hair laid perfectly underneath him and effortlessly made him look like a model photo come to life. His mouth was slightly open and there was a certain amount of shock in his grey eyes. James hair was messier than normal as if he had been pulling his hands through it a few times extra and his hazel brown eyes were opened to the point where it looked like he had seen a ghost.

"So, Snape and Lily are getting married." Sirius stated.

Next to him, James nodded. "Yep."

A few seconds later, Sirius tilted his head while still looking at the roof. "I kind of want to say that again because I don't think that my mind has grasped the meaning of that sentence yet."

"Mine hasn't either," James nodded and glanced to the side. "Feel free to say it again, I don't mind."

"Lily is marrying Snape."

Hermione didn't blame him for having to say the same sentence again. If she was the one inside the room then she would have needed to say it ten thousand times in order to get the message into her brain. Not because she was stupid; she just didn't see it coming even if Snape and Lily had been a couple during their last year at Hogwarts. Hermione had never cared for Snape, and he had never cared for her, so a part of her had always wished that Lily would eventually see him for what he truly was and dump him. Apparently, she had decided to do quite the opposite. A heavy feeling of dread appeared in Hermione's chest. Poor James…

"Lily Evans, the first love of your life, is going to marry the closest thing we have to a nemesis…" The same thoughts seemed to enter Sirius mind. "… and you're fine with that?"

Hermione was sure that she knew what he would answer. There was not a chance in the world that James would ever say that he was fine with his first love marrying someone else. Especially not Severus Snape. Calling him the closest thing they had to a nemesis was not overexaggerating in any way. James and Snape had never seen eye to eye, nor had Snape ever seen eye to eye with any of the other Marauders, and Hermione was sure that it would take a smaller miracle for that to ever happen. They were too different. And even if James and Lily hadn't fallen in love the moment they saw each other, even if their relationship had only lasted for a few months, it had been real and James had fallen hard for her. For him, it had been more than a mere teenage crush and she had broken his heart when she told him that she didn't want _them_ to be a thing anymore; and James had told her exactly how he felt about her but that he respected her decision. Hermione didn't know if it had been something that he did in the heat of the moment or if he needed to tell her how he felt about her and would have done so sooner or later. In spite of that, Hermione had admired him for being upfront about his feelings for the teenage girl who had dumped him. Hermione had never been upfront about her emotions that way ever. It required a certain kind of bravery which she lacked or if nothing else had very little of. That's why she hadn't told James about the fact that she no longer loved him as a friend. Her feelings went much deeper than that and had been for a while; she just didn't know how, or if, she was going to tell him.

"I'm fine with that," for a moment it felt like the world stood still and it felt like Hermione had bugs crawling underneath her skin. She was curious and she was not beneath eavesdropping assuming that nothing truly personal was said. Since Hermione knew how guided she was by her curiosity she had strict rules which she obeyed. "You only get one life. It's actually your duty to live it as fully as possible."

"If you say so mate! Tell me something good." To any outsider that may have sounded like the subject had been changed but that was not the case and Hermione expected them to keep talking about _this_. Unlike Sirius, she was slightly sceptic to the fact that James had moved on from Lily.

"Something good… If marrying Snape is something she wants to do to live her life as fully is possible then she has my support. Besides, she was my first love and I will always care about her, Lily is amazing in so many ways, but lately I've been feeling different about someone and I think that I'm falling…"

Hermione didn't know what came over her but the moment James was going to reveal who it was that he was falling for she closed the door with a boom and almost ran from the spot where she had been hiding. Sirius had quickly crossed the floor and had seen her brown curly hair as she vanished down the stairs and Hermione could hear him tell James that it was her who had been eavesdropping. Hermione didn't care if he knew that it was her or not; she had made herself known before she heard something truly private. She would have found out eventually that Snape and Lily were getting married but information about James love life or potential love life was not something she could listen to with a good conscience. This was meant for Sirius ears and for the girl whenever James decided that he was going to tell her. So, she walked away and didn't stop until she sat outside on the porch. Which is where James found her mere minutes later. Hermione didn't expect him to be angry, that was not the reason she ran away, but she didn't expect him to look quite that calm either.

"So, are we spending the day snooping around?"

Hermione let out a fake laughter as he sat down on the porch next to her and leaned forward with his arms resting on his legs so that he could look her in the eyes. She had always known that he was attractive, but during the last two years it had become even more apparent than before and it wasn't just his appearance which made him attractive. It was his kindness and the way he matured from a child into a teenager and now he could almost be considered an adult; that was more than could be said about most nineteen-year olds.

"It was an accident," she said and turned slightly to the side so that she could see his entire face instead of only the small part she saw out of the corner of her eye. There was an amused smile on his face which would have annoyed most people but not Hermione. "Besides, I ran out of there before I heard anything too private."

James nodded. "So, you heard that Snape and Lily are getting married."

"Yep."

"Sirius struggled to understand the meaning of the sentence so he needed to say it again," James smile grew bigger. "Do you want me to say it again so that you can wrap your brain around it?"

Hermione shook her head and this time laughed genuinely. "No, I think I'm good. I've heard that she's getting married to Snape three times now or four times if you count me saying it."

She heard James mutter good and then he looked in front of him. She didn't know if he was watching the garden where the grass had the perfect shade of green or the sidewalk where people would occasionally walk by in a calm manner. She understood why he liked Godric's Hollow and why he wanted to live in that particular house. The town as a whole was calm place and although James had lived a few kilometres outside of it, he still considered it to be the place which defined his childhood. In terms of liveliness, James could easily fool people into believing that he would thrive in a place like central London but that was not the case. The Marauder was calmer than most people believed and he preferred the energy of the lowkey small town than, for example, London.

"Are you really okay with that?"

James tilted his head so that he looked at her and simultaneously shrugged and nodded. "Yeah, I really am completely fine with that."

"But she is your first love."

"Yeah," James nodded. "She is and that is not going to change because she marries someone else. And because she is my first love I will always care about her and support her in everything that she does even if that includes marrying someone else. But, and this is the most important thing, I am not in love with her anymore. She is my _first love_ , she is not _my love_."

Hermione frowned and shook her head. "I find that answer vague and unconvincing."

"Okay Hermione," James laughed and patted her on the back. "I'm going to head in and make some breakfast."

Hermione nodded as he walked towards the front door. "Sounds like a plan."

"Are you coming, my love?"

Spontaneously, Hermione wanted to ask James why he had called her that. Granted, he was the type of person to use nicknames and terms of endearment but he had never used that specific term for anyone other than Lily. Hermione turned around and looked at him. She didn't know if it was the glimmer in his eyes or the genuine smile on his face but for some reason she decided not to ask anything about it even if her curiosity wanted answers. She was sure that she would get her answers eventually.

 **The end**


End file.
